On our way to the convention center, I remember saying to myself,
“You can do this.”
I was sweating, my heart was racing, and I wasn’t sure that when it counted if any sound would actually come out of my mouth. I walked into a huge room. There were large windows that reached the ceiling. Walking up to the staging area in the middle of this massive room felt surreal. I faced three people. Three people who were there to determine if I would move to the next level. My audition for America’s Got Talent went surprisingly quick, but it didn’t start when I arrived at the convention center in Houston, TX.
It all started with an email.
TV competition shows host open call auditions in various cities to find talent. But what most people don’t know is that casting producers or scouts actually handpick their talent behind the scenes. Generally speaking, spots are already filled with potential cast members before open call auditions even take place. Sure, a few lucky individuals who attend an open call on their own could get callbacks. But, for the most part over half of those who have been cast, were already hand-selected to compete and they are contacted in advance and invited to what they call private auditions. For example, Audra McLaughlin, a Top 6 Finalist from Season 6 of NBC’s The Voice, shares a similar story in our interview with her here. That’s how I ended up at my AGT audition. A producer contacted me via email.
I initially ignored it because I thought it was a phishing scam. It sat in my inbox for a day or two. I eventually indulged. Turns out, it was legitimate. I went through an online application process and was given instructions to attend the private auditions. Yes, they have private auditions where you skip the day-long wait and go straight into your audition.
Once I got accepted into private auditions, I was still in contact with that same casting producer about my song selection. I was given 10 minutes to perform two songs. The producer coached me on what songs to select. I had a couple songs picked out, but I was told they were old and I needed to choose something more modern.
“Relevant,” he said.
Ok, I didn’t realize Alicia Keys and Adele weren’t relevant. Somehow, I had missed that memo. So I reviewed the Billboard Top 100 and picked a few songs from there. I ultimately picked Kelly Clarkson and Demi Lovato. My producer friend approved. We practiced, practiced, and practiced. Even after hours of practice, I still didn’t feel like I was ready. That’s the funny thing about being a performer. You never feel all the way ready.
Nonetheless, the time came and before I knew it, audition day was here.
The Houston, TX auditions (where I was living at the time) were held at the downtown convention center. As we walked into the building, we passed rooms and rooms of people standing, seated, lined up, practicing, talking. There were wait rooms for wait rooms. Once you get called into one room, you’re asked to wait some more in another room. Room after room. They handled people like numbers. Even, though I was pre-selected, I was still a number. And you definitely feel that. We walked through some of these rooms and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of uneasiness. These people had been waiting a long time, and I just show up out of nowhere, jump the line and go into a private room? How is that fair?
Fair…
In the world of TV, I don’t think that word exists. I’ve been hand-picked for a handful of reality TV shows. I’ve even made it to an actual TV appearance before. I study reality TV. I find it fascinating. The way it oscillates between reality and virtual reality and how it captivates audiences is almost magical. But fair, it is not. It’s far from it.
With our instruments in tow, we by-passed several rooms of people and joined a short line of other people who were pre-selected. They took us up the stairs and divided us between several smaller rooms. At this point, I could hear music being played and I knew it was about to be showtime.
When my number was called, I got up and collected all my nerves from off the floor. Grateful that I wasn’t alone, I looked at Rob,
“Here we go,” I said.
We opened the door to see three people sitting at a long table at the front of a room big enough for a 300 person banquet. They each had notebooks, paperwork, and there were cameras recording. I was greeted by one of them. They had all of my information which they asked about in detail even my Tiny House story. Then they asked us to perform.
Auditioning for a spot is not like performing for an audience. When you’re in front of an audience, they are participating with you. They’re looking for you to bring them somewhere. They anticipate the magic that live music almost never fails to demonstrate. But when you’re auditioning, you are alone. You don’t have an audience to feed off of. You don’t have anyone there to participate in the moment with you. What you have is a panel of people judging you. They are literally judging your looks, your voice, your story, and whether or not that all fits into their storyline.
Would I fit in? Would I make the cut? Once I got into that room, I made a commitment to myself.
“I will be ok whether I get a callback, or not.”
That’s what got me through it. Not being married to a single outcome is what gave me the confidence to go out there and do my best.
We did “Love So Soft” by Kelly Clarkson and “Sorry, Not Sorry” by Demi Lovato. I don’t know how it came across to them, but I thought we performed it flawlessly. We were told we did a good job and that we’ll be contacted if they wanted me to go to the next level. The audition was less than 10 minutes. All that practicing, walking, waiting, and nervousness culminated in 10 minutes of performing in a cold, drafty ballroom for three people.
After that day, I never heard from America’s Got Talent again. I did not get a callback. I didn’t even get a rejection notice. All I have are a few pictures from that day and the memories.
What are my takeaways?
- Always give it your best, but don’t obsess over a single outcome.
- Things are not always fair.
- Relevance is subjective.
- TV singing competitions are about entertainment. They are not designed to help artists move forward in their career. You have to do that on your own.
- A healthy mindset can make the difference.
Shifting my mindset during the audition process was pivotal for me. It gave me the confidence I needed to do my best without being affected by nervous energy. One of our most important assets as musicians is our mind. Maintaining a healthy mindset gives you confidence, promotes positive outcomes, and clears a path for bigger and better opportunities. If you struggle with self-confidence, anxiety, nervousness, self-sabotage a shift in your mindset can make a huge difference in your career success. I’d love to help you with that. Consider taking the Mindset Makeover Challenge for Musicians to Manifest Their Creative Dreams. It’s a 5-Day Workshop that will help you overcome the various mental and emotional challenges creatives like us face. It will also walk you through practical steps you can take to make your dreams a reality. Change your mindset, change your life! Find out more about the Mindset Makeover Challenge here.
Mindset Makeover Challenge
for Musicians to Manifest Their Creative Dreams
It was an incredible experience. I’m glad I did it. Would I do it again? Only time will tell…
What’s your take? Have you auditioned, or been on reality TV? Did it help? Or not? Would you audition if given the chance? Leave a comment down below and let’s chat.
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